fall musings on a freezing metal bench by a pond

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i'm sitting by a pond right now, it's chilly and breezy. the leaves have disappeared. they were green and now they're gone. this time last year i was at one of the lowest points in my life, but i can confidently say i'm okay now. it's crazy what a year can change (and a little bit of therapy). fall makes me so contemplative. 





you know, in summer, the past melts deep into the recesses of my mind, only surfacing on certain warm summer nights. those ones where the air smells like a memory. in the fall, i feel the past like i feel my frigid fingers right now, the skin flaking off the back of my hand. the air is not yet bitter cold, nor am i. i'm simply just thinking, existing, being. 

november is one of my favorite months, for no specific reason at all. it's a waiting month, like august. my other favorite, melancholy month. i am coming to appreciate life in all of it's complexities, feeling more grateful to be alive than ever before. i've grown a lot. let me demonstrate the most telling example: i have a CB in a class and i don't want to kill myself. i am doing amazing work in that class, the prof just thinks hes the lord and savior of journalism. he's nice and funny sometimes, but the harshest grader i've ever had.

in other news, i'm laughing a lot more! i laugh almost everyday now; thanks roomies ;) 

i just finished intermezzo by sally rooney. i want to like sally rooney so bad, but i just am not that girl. although, this was my favorite book of hers that i have read. the ending was really nice, happy. yesterday, i started reading "the count of monte cristo." (the abridged version...sorry.) 

been listening to the 1975 again. this type of weather is the BEST time to listen to them. it makes me so happy. 

IVE BEEN CRAFTING! i spent probably 15 hours making a mini bookstore. great use of my time. definitely don't have a million assignments to get done. here's a pic: 


i'm also insanely frigid right now, and i think it's in my best interest to go inside. thanks for reading. sorry to keep my two avid readers anxiously waiting for eight months. eight months goes by really fast. 

more later
amelia 

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