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My First Semester of College As it comes to a close, I have a few things to say about it. Simply put, it was not one of the best experiences of my life. It was a huge change, and nothing like I thought it would be. I cried almost every day. It felt like a miracle when I made it past a week without a tear shed. I was sad, I felt alone, and even just the sound of my parents' voice on the phone was often enough to move me to tears. I only go to school 45 minutes away from home, but I felt that was a challenge in its own way. Everything I know, everything I love is only 45 minutes away, but I'm also not there. It's like a dream where you want to scream but all that comes out is a squeak. Where you're running, but your legs are jello. I often have dreams where I can't move my fingers, and when I recall them later I can't distinguish if it was real or not. Maybe that one's just me. A Grief of Sorts A majority of my semester was spent grieving. Not the death of any...

In April 2023, I went to Chicago for a weekend Spring Break trip. Me, my mom, and my sister were moseying in and out of the hotel lobby shops, waiting for the Uber. It was that fateful day we stumbled into that cozy gift shop, filled to the brim with books, mugs, and Jellycats. (If you're unfamiliar, they are the cutest, softest, most overpriced stuffed animals cholk full of the most personality and charisma you will ever see. Seriously, google it.) And that was where we met her for the first time. Backpack Bunny. Her silky soft fur, those ears that stick straight up. Her darling little bunny teeth. And flip her around, and she's sporting a mini pink backpack in her resemblance. She would have been the perfect impulse buy any other time of the year. But after spending 30 dollars on a pizza the night before, we decided to show some self-control. Big mistake. We thought about her every day after that.  And in August, we decided it had been far too long without her pink bunny back...

 As 2023 comes to a close and I reflect on everything I've read, I'm slightly disappointed.  One, in myself. Because I set my Goodreads goal at the seemingly attainable goal of 25 books. And for me in January 2023, that seemed easy. Looking back on that now, January me had a big storm coming, which would leave little time and attention span for reading books. The amount of books that I started but did not finish is a bit disheartening. (I blame tiktok. It's not my fault.)  But I'm really trying to get back into reading more consistently. I joined a book club, I deleted social media off my phone, and I force myself to read in the dining hall instead of being on my phone.  Furthermore, I'm a little disappointed in the books I did read. My hypothesis for this is that with my attention span and energy run dry, the only books I thought I had the mental capacity to read were ones that were...well...not very well written. I did NOT read a cheesy romance though, and if i ev...